My PTSD Journey - Part 2

My therapist is a woman, and she is very helpful and understanding. I still remember that in our first meeting, she told me this. 

This is not just about me; this is about you, and you will have to do the hard work. Remember, you're not alone in this journey. I am here to listen and guide you, and many others have faced similar struggles and come through stronger.

I agreed, and we started to list out what my main goal is for this therapy that I am undergoing with her. 'We will make sure you graduate,' she said. I trust her, and we start my journey to untangle all the knots and dig into the roots of my issue, which has helped me improve my relationships and manage stress better.

Photo Credit: BrainBodyWellnessAZ.com

Yes, it is a very bumpy road that I went through for those few months. At some point, I felt like giving up because unwrapping the wounds was painful and revisiting the past was hard. The memories and experiences I tried to sweep under the carpet now had to be brought to light. But I want you to know that if you're going through something similar, this process is worth it, and you're not alone in facing these challenges. Healing takes time, and that patience is part of the journey. 

The stigma at my workplace about people seeing a psychiatrist as a 'crazy' person actually scares me. But my therapist affirms that seeking professional help is a courageous act. Listening to her words of encouragement and affirmations gave me the strength to show up for all my appointments with her. 

This is my take-home message for those out there who struggle with mental health:

1. You are not alone. 
2. Take the first step to seek help, and it is okay to not be okay. 
3. The pain we dealt with in the process is a healing in progress. 
4. We are fighters, and we will never give up hope!

With love and prayers!

Rose 🌹

My PTSD Journey - Part 1

I feel compelled to share my journey with PTSD to raise awareness about mental health. October is Mental Health Awareness Month in Malaysia. Before I begin, I want to emphasise that we, the mental health patients and survivors, are not "crazy." Please refrain from calling us "orang gila" or any term that suggests we are insane. Such labels hurt us and do not aid in our recovery from already tangled minds. Instead, I urge you to be kind and empathetic towards us. Let’s work together to eliminate the stigma attached to mental health challenges.

I was diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) at the end of 2020. My symptoms worsened over time; I became more jumpy, easily irritated, experienced uncontrolled anger, and felt a constant urge to isolate myself from social interactions. The pandemic intensified my condition, as I found myself alone in my house. My only companion during this time was my cat, Gabby. It was during this period that I began to experience episodes at home, crying and feeling hopeless without any apparent triggers. My mind became my enemy, playing tricks on my conscience. My relationships with those around me deteriorated; I often picked fights with people who showed me kindness, unable to accept their love and compassion. My self-image suffered, leading to very negative self-talk.

Source: Kinder in the Keys

To make a long story short, I made a new friend while attempting to adopt a stray dog. She turned out to be a mental health doctor at the local clinic. As we became friends, I gradually began to open up to her about my struggles. Accessing a mental health doctor at a local hospital usually requires a recommendation letter from another doctor. After listening to my story, she offered to write me a recommendation if I wished to see a psychiatrist.

By the end of 2020, I started visiting the local mental health hospital. My journey began with consultations with a psychiatrist, who diagnosed me with PTSD after conducting tests and evaluations. After a few sessions, the psychiatrist asked if I wanted to be prescribed medication; I declined and requested counselling instead. I undergo the counselling session over a year.

To be continued in Part 2.