TRUE CONFESSIONS

I browse through my main blog at MY CHOICE ~ Walking Through Nature . Read my old posts since 22nd April 2008. Realize that i did enjoy doing my previous work. Feel blessed of what i have that time. Feel that My Dream Come True. Touched reading my own post on Reflections . No matter how i plan my life, it will end up not as i planned. Not as how i want it to become. I only plan it but GOD have greater plan for my life. No matter how hard i try but if it is not right for me, God will not lead me to that path. He will guide me to another path. But, still there is no harm in planning our life. Not by our own will but with God's Will, it will happen how God want it to be. He always provide us the best because He loves us. Thank you Jesus for guiding me. With Love, Little Rose

Photo credit to Sarawak Government Portal HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY TO ALL MALAYSIANS 31st AUGUST 2011 .....A DAY TO REMEMBER & CELEBRATE.....

sakit kepala. pikiran bercelaru. rusak betul sya ni minggu. macam2 ja yang terjadi. kawan cakap jangan pikir sangat. ya, cakap bulih la. otak ni yang nda pandai diam2. sudah sya bilang jangan pikir lagi, balik2 pikir itu jugak. macam manalah. mau share dengan kawan depan mata inda bulih. sudah sya share cerita sama kawan2 yang teda depan mata. sms la facebuk la telepon la tapi nda juga sama rasa sya mau juga kasi lepas geram dengan real person di depan mata ni. begini pula kan rasa. nda sama bah, kalau ko kasi lepas sama orang yang 'real' yang ko boleh tampar2 ka tumbuk2 ka dengan yang setakat tinguk and dingar suara jak. haish... napa la sya ni susah betul mau kasi lepas ni. sakit kepala suda sya ni. migrain mengkali ni, stress pasal terlampau pikir. otak ni pun satu hal, masi juga mau pikir. mau juga rasa huha huha sama kawan2 sini ni bejalan sana sini, raya bah kan ni ari, tapi takut sya terlepas cakap pula. tau ja, mulut nda pandai diam macam sya, susah, nda sedar diri tu k...

i have many friends but still i feel lonely i easily make new friends but not good friends i treasure and love my friends a lot but i hate to be left behind i can get along with people around me but i might be pretending to be happy i can smile and laugh at any occasion but sometimes i have burden that i carry  i may get very sensitive and emotional but i have something disturbing my mind i may quite and serious but it is not that i am thinking hard I NEED A BREAK!

Photo credit to Google Images TODAY IS HARI RAYA... SO, I WANNA WISH ALL MY MUSLIM BLOGGER FRIENDS..... "SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI" HOPE THIS RAYA BRING JOYS AND HAPPINESS TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.... GOD BLESS ALL OF US...  WITH LOVE, ROSE RAGAI

Photo credit to  GingerxRose SECRETS. Do you have yours? Your own secrets or your family secrets or your friends secrets or even somebody that you don't know but you being there during the incident? Me? I have mine but most of my secrets is no more secrets because i shared it with my sisters, brothers or even my best friends. Did i keep anything for myself? Hmmm.... i don't think i have one left ( ha ha ha... sounds a little but scary when i think about it ). Photo credit to  Gadzooks Did you write down your secrets in your journal or any books that you keep it locked in your mysterious box? I have my secret book with my friends. We kindda share everything inside the book. We wrote all of our secrets inside it and we promise to burnt it out when one of us get married. But, i forgot, where i put that book now. Yai! See, keeping secrets inside the books if you are forgetful like me, better don't.  Photo credit to  gyan215 Maybe hiding it inside the...

Photo credit to McFaiild What did i do? Am i ignorance? Why is this happen to someone i know? still...i can not condemn myself for something like this.. I just do my part....  (It is difficult to express something that you can not say it out loud...) So, better to put everything in God's hand....  God bless. 

Photo credit to littledolphin A fiend of mine, admitted hospital yesterday. She got hypertension. I did not know that she have this illness. A little bit disappointed with myself because i did not take seriously of her condition a few days ago. She did complaint about her dizziness and not feel comfortable with it. Even on Sunday, both of her feet swollen. Since, i did not know that she did have hypertension, i think it is not that serious. So, i only ask her to go for a check up at our nearby clinic. But she refused to do so. Until yesterday, she almost fainted but she arrived hospital at KK safely. Today she still under doctor observation at Intensive Care Unit. She have minor surgery to help reduce her blood pressure. Somehow, i am still worried about her. I can not do much from a far, if i am by her side i still can comfort her. But for this distance, i only can pray for her. Asking God to help her to get through this critical situation. To keep her strong to survive this....

Ever heard of Corporate Social Responsibility or CSR? Me, myself get to know CSR only when i get an interview for this job about two years ago. I have no idea what is this career. Is it something new to Malaysia? Hmmm... i think it is not so new but yet the approach and understanding about CSR in Malaysia is different from other countries out there. The practice is different here. I am not a sociologist or anthropologist but i am a conservationist by my bachelor degree. Working in conservation field for about three years before move to this new career, CSR. So, it has been two years seven months i am working in this new field. What is actually attract me when i decided to change my career path? Because CSR is something to do with helping people to change the way of their life by providing them skills, opportunities and build a self dependent communities. Is it tough job to do? YES, it is a tough task. Why? Because our people have so many providers out there to provide subsidy fund,...

I feel down after work yesterday. Piss off and so demotivated. Went back home and trying to cool down. When i browse through You Tube i found this video, Korea's Got Talent. He inspired me and i feel blessed for who i am. He is unfortunate but yet he really work hard to get through all the obstacles in his life. He did make my tears fall down. Hope you get inspired by him too. Watch this video if you have some spare time. GOD BLESS US ALL!

Will not saying much words.... Just want to share these three clip videos for my 400th posts today. These three songs from three different artists with all catchy and meaningful lyrics. Enjoy the songs!

Me? Always love to change things. I easily get bored so i change again. In my previous posts i did mentioned about CHANGE; my office table position that i change recently and also i did rants about People's Change. So today i change my blog layout theme again. I am not sure if this will become my last changes or i will change it again in near future (if i get bored with the colour and widgets and so on). For this present layout, i just love chocolate colour. Not sure why, but it is the earth colour. The previous one is black and white theme but after a while i did not really like it though. So, i change. How about you? Do you always stick to your blog layout or you frequently change? Just like me.. Hmmmm.... Till then! With Love, Little Rose

I am suppose to finish on preparing the complete action plan for my projects for the year 2011 - 2012 but yet, i am STUCK. My brain did not do much of work for these past two weeks. I have so many things come up in my mind but yet i don't know how to put it together on the paper. How to organize it well accordingly. People tend to say, 'PLAN YOUR WORK, WORK YOUR PLAN'... If i did not do my plan i will not know where will be my project heading too. To SUCCESS or to FAIL? Somehow, if i am too much on planning, will i manage to WORK OUT my PLAN later? In term of planning, i have a very high expectations and sometimes i know it sounds impossible to reach for it, but still i am a little bit of a DREAMER... Yai! Till then! With Love, Little Rose Update: Currently i am working on my plan on my Socio-Economic Development for the rural communities. I have two projects consists of Handicraft Development and Medicinal & Aromatic Pl...

Recently i feel i am blessed because i have the chance to serve the communities. I do complaint and disappointed sometimes, but at the end, still i think this is a blessings to me. If i think i am doing this work for my good names, good salary, good position, i will not feel this blessings upon me. I must think and do this for the GLORY of my GOD. To make people known that i am bringing good NEWS in any way of my action towards them. I serve JESUS and i see JESUS when i work with these people ( supposed to be like that but sometimes my humanly/ worldly thoughts took away all these graces and i became very negative person. For that i pray to GOD for HIS guidance and to always WALK with me ).  Women making handicraft. I learn how to make it from them. An old woman planting paddy. Women group learn how to do the documentation. Preparing rattan. Childrens playing at the hill paddy field. Still enjoying the f...

I don't believe in this for so long. I always believe when i am good with people around me, treat them well and nice, trying not to break any promises and do not do anything that break their heart. They will never change in any way of our friendships and as far as i am trying to keep the friendship, they will do the same too. Sound innocent am i? To share my story here. Having one bestfriend during secondary school. We are really close shared all the happy and sad moments together. If anyone hurt me, she will stand for me. She will trying her very best to protect me. Such a very nice friend right? She is really my Guardian Angel. She woke me up in the morning because she know i will be late for breakfast if she is not doing it. I cried a lot missing my parents at home and i can say i am still a crybaby when i am in secondary school. She did her best to cheer me up. I will do the same for her. But i did a very bad/ worse thing to our friendship without noticing it really break her...

Did you ever feel that you are being complicated in everything? In your relationship with your parents, siblings, friends, boyfriend/girlfriend, co-workers or even strangers? Me? Yes, i did feel that sometimes i was the one that always making things so complicated. Until one day i realize, why i did it that way, this way and why not make things simple and people can easily understands me. Therefore, there will no misunderstanding and we can cooperate easily. But somehow, life will not so exciting right? Ha ha ha... When i wanted my life to be interesting and exciting, i think i did hurts others feeling. Break their heart for what i did, maybe without noticing it. When it goes to work and study.. I am as complicated as ever too. Tried to make my work simple and workable, but still i think it is so complicated. My study also the same. I thought it simple at the beginning but at the end, i think it is so difficult and complicated. Can i become more simple person and live...

" Quitting is the easiest way out of any problem but unluckily it doesn't settle the problem. So, the moral of the story is to settle a problem first before quitting so that someone else doesn't have to pick up the pieces." ~ Allen Ng --- Singapore RR thoughts : How may times i have done this? Quit? A few times and it is really disappointing and worse things to do. Is it the same with give up?

Since morning i am doing the checking of our projects expenditure. It's 1452 hrs now and i am tired of those numbers and makes me sleepy. So, log in to my blog and write something here to be away for awhile from these numbers. Actually it was since i yesterday, after i sit back on my sit in the office after one week break. Do i like numbers? Not to say LIKE but it is okay for me. Not to say hate but i am doing fne with numbers. In high school i love Modern Mathematic but not so with the Additional Maths. I took Principal Account ( Prinsip Akaun ) in high school and also during my uiversity year. Trying to become one of those accountants but nope, this is not for me. I get irritated when my ledger never balance. So, i know that i will not doing well as an accountant. But today, i have to do something related to account or i may say MONEY. Wah.. i wish this is my money but nope, it is company's money.. Huaaa... I am just doing the calcutation. Ha ha ha ha.. Okay, i think i ...

I am suppose to be HAPPY but yet feel lonely and upset inside. Why? Maybe i am expecting too much. Expecting things happen as i think it should be. But yet, i forgot that it will never happen as perfect as i wish it to be happen. Why? Because some things happen for a reason. Some things happen how God want it to happen. The lists that i wish should be happen last week: Having "Sahur" on the 1st Ramadhan with my brother's family. See and playing with my wonderful six nieces and nephews (3 never met yet). Attending Mass on the celebration of St. Ignatius feast at St. Ignatius Church with my brother. Bring my father to St. Bernard and having a chit chat with Father in charge there. Did not meet my eldest sister when i am at home. Walking at Carpenter's Street at Kuching Waterfront and buying some souvenirs for friends. Celebrating my friend's birthday with the cake that i bought for her.  Having some more foods in Kuching, still not enough of Laksa Kuc...