Wordless Wednesday

Menu of the day ~ Sayur Kampung

Menu of the day by me

 Since becoming a Red Zone again, most of us bring our own home cook food to the office for lunch.

Three of us plan a lunch get together so we come out with our menu. 

I was assigned with 'village veggies' or 'sayur kampung'. 

  My friend mentioned two types which is tapioca leaves or fern. So, i went to the market after work and look around. There is tapioca leaves and fern but i choose tapioca leaves. 

Instead of only one menu, i end up preparing two type of veggies for our lunch today. 

Menu 1: Tapioca leaves + wild ginger young shoot (tepus) + chicken meat

Menu 2: Scallion leaves + torch ginger flower + anchovies + red chilies

 Yummeh to my tummy!!

Courage on mastering fear

Photo Credit to Google Photo Search

Today is the day. 

I took courage to see a doctor in order to figure out my problem.

With the doctor helps, i know what is my actual problems. 

I hope that i have enough strength to overcome this. 

With God nothing is impossible. 

I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me 

- Philippians 4:13. 

 

Unresolved Past

Photo Credit to Google Image Search

I know something is not right with me...

I know I have to find out what it is...

I know I must talk to someone I trust...

I know I must not isolate myself from others...

I know I am not alone in this...

Thus, God please show me THE WAY... 
 

Forgiving Self

Photo Credit to parents-are-people-too.com

Its been a while I am reading this book, Healing wounded relationships by Martin H. Padovani. This is my second time re-read this book. I would like to share this sub-chapter which I find it is difficult to put into action or practice. 

Why people slow to forgive themselves?

1. An element of self-hatred, anger, or disappointment with oneself for having done wrong.
2. Perfectionism. It is a disease that posits an unrealistic expectations to realistic expectations.
3. A sense of false pride or conceit, and an inflated sense of self, which considers oneself beyond failure and sin. 
4. An erroneous belief that self-forgiveness too easily removes the consequences of one's misbehaviour and even condones that behaviour.
5. The difficulty in accepting forgiveness and especially self-forgiveness.
6. Being overwhelmed by or stuck in guilt and shame.

Forgiving oneself doesn't mean we can forget what we have done. The memories will continue to be with us. Those memories, with all their difficult feelings, need to be worked through and sorted out, not buried, denied or avoided. The decision to forgive oneself opens the door, allowing our painful feelings to flow through us. We need to give ourselves permission to feel everything and anything. Then the emotional healing aspect of the process of elf-forgiveness begins. It is painfully long journey, involving identifying, sorting out, walking through, and talking about our difficult feelings, with God and others, until those feelings are understood, healed and diffused. 

In order to set ourselves free, we need to work out on this emotional healings. I know how difficult it is and often times I falls into the self-pity parties, again and again. By the Grace of GOD, nothing is impossible.  

Introducing Spotty

 

As promised, this is my rescued dog, Spotty! He has unique characters which I still have to discover every day. He loves eating fish compare to chicken. So I can describe him as a pescatarian. 

A pescatarian is someone who doesn't eat meat but does eat fish. The term pescatarian was coined in the early 1990s and is a combination of the Italian word for fish, “pesce,” and the word “vegetarian.” Sometimes it's spelt “pescetarian,” but this means the same thing.

He was rescued from a coffee shop. According to the coffee shop owner and people around the area, he was abandoned by its previous owner. The owner moved from their rented house at the housing behind the coffee shop. Since then, he roaming around the area to get shelter and food. 

Am I happy having him around? Well, I admit it was a challenge to keep him stay put for the first two weeks. The insecurity and trauma from being abandon are still with him. He requires special attention and affection from me which I failed to do so sometime due to my work. 

This is our fourth months together and I can see he is now a happy dog. He knows how to play but for sure he is one obedient dog. 

Procrastination

Photo Credit to Google Images

I have this one bad habit since high school. PROCRASTINATION. I am sure it has been triggered somewhere along with my growing up. I think one of the causes of this bad habit is because when I stuck in with my homework on a specific subject. Whenever I try to find the answer and I am at the dead end. So, instead of finding another initiative, I will wait until the very last minute. 

I am aware of this habit. Over these years I did try my best to overcome it. However, at my current workplace with more work and responsibilities, I am overwhelmed. I see a long list of work to be completed. I will complete an easy task on time, but when I am stuck with more complicated assignments, I start to procrastinate again. To make it worst, I failed to deliver some of my work now. My performance is somewhat getting bad now. I know I have to do something about this bad habit.    

I decided to install some HABIT LIST or GOAL TRACKER apps on my phone and see if I can change my daily habits if I have a goal to achieve. Stay tuned! I will update my progress.

11.11 - Buying Air Purifier?

Every month we will have a date like this with all sort of online sales and promotions is happening. I used to love doing online shopping clothing and electronic such as laptop etc. However, these past years I did not do any online shopping because last time I bought two dresses which are too small and it is not as what I saw on the website.

Two days ago I was thinking about buying an Air Purifier for my house. I did not feel well these past weeks and suspected the air in my house is not clean anymore. I have two furkids at home and I let them roaming inside the house too. I used to have asthma and sinusitis which makes me very sensitive to dust and of course the fur from these two.

However, I still think about getting the Air Purifier to ensure the air I breathe in the house is clean. Any suggestions for affordable but worth buying Air Purifier?    

Spotty the Stray Dog

In mid-August, I adopted a dog from the Kopitiam. Or I should say, we rescued him from a Kopitiam? With help from one of the S.O.S Kuching, we managed to lure him into the cage and bring him straight to the vet clinic at Jalan Tabuan. He is still a puppy almost a year old. It took me about two weeks to get him familiar with me. I will visit him at the Kopitiam after work trying to feed him and pat him. The amazing thing is he connects with me straight away. When he starts to show submissive behaviour at the end of the second week, my friend decides to try to catch him. So, our rescue was successful. 

Honestly, my experience since the day he enters my house is full of drama. It still going on until today. He is a drama king! I create an Instagram profile for him so that I can share his development. If you are interested to know how my furry buddy looks like, visit his IG @stray_story.

I will share more of his story in future post.        

The Third Wave of Covid-19

I thought it is over for us here in Sarawak since we are doing well for the past few months. However, as our neighbour, Sabah struggling with the spike cases every day after the state election on 26 September 2020, we seem to be at ease. I must admit that I put my guard down too since I started to hang out with friends more frequent than before. I treat my daily life as it was before the covid-19 strike in March. 

Things changed after about two weeks ago when we also faced the third wave of this pandemic. One after another new cluster emerges in our city of Kuching. As of yesterday, Kuching recorded 147 active cases in Kuching after it was a Green Zone for a while. With that new number, we also declared as Red Zone. Thus, the Conditional Movement Control Order also applies for Kuching District started from today until 22 November 2020. 

In our office, we will start working in rotation with 50% capacity in the office. Work from home will be a struggle for some because of other distractions at home. As for me, I will struggle to make sure I am disciplined enough with my flexible working hours. Besides, I am closer to my fridge and food. LOL. 

I hope everyone can stay positive, stay healthy and stay safe. We pray for this pandemic to be over soon. God willing all will be well again. 

Recovery Movement Control Order

Photo Credit to LITE (Malaysia) Facebook Page

Today is our first day of RMCO and i feel like everything getting back to normal. I noticed there were a lot more vehicles on the road this morning as i drive to work. This mean, heavier traffic and longer time to reach my office. Meanwhile, the coffee shop which i used to go for lunch have more chairs and tables for people to dine in. Thus, more people in the shop too. The same thing in the office, most of us are returning to office and less working from home. The office no longer looks like a haunted building anymore. However, most of my co-worker left office early and when the clock tick five, i already left alone. 

I notice people are practicing social distancing at their best but i believe we love chit chatting. When everyone get excited with the conversation, we tend to forget about the distance anymore. Lucky that most of us are using face masks, so we kind of protect each other from our own saliva. LOL. Most of the premises also still taking body temperature to ensure they only allowed healthy people to enter their premise. 

We hope for the best! May this COVID19 pandemic end smoothly and everyone will have a peace of mind and heart. 

Day 14: Movement Control Order

Today mark two weeks of MOC and tomorrow will start the second phase of MOC. 1st until 14th April will become the second phase of MOC. Working from home is challenging because I need some information from my file in the office. I have to 'fill in the blanks' in my report when I return to the office.

As usual my daily routine is make sure my dad clean and eat his meals, house chores, feed our pets and gardening. So, total time for my 'work from home' after deduction of all the above will be four hours.

O Lord, have mercy on us. 

Day 13: Movement Control Order

This is Gabby. She is my companion during this MCO. She act like a dog but she is a cat. Hmmm.. Always follow me around as if she doesn't want to be left by me.

Nothing much today except that I cut my dad's hair, clean his feet thoroughly and shower him as clean as I can. I thank God that I still have a chance to do this for my aging parents. Taking care both of them never been easy but I believe love conquers all. Thank you Mama Mary.

I also take a chance to run a few small rounds with my dog. He is sick but we manage to slowly run around the house. I hope Simba will recover soon. 

May this pandemic over soon and all of us persevere till then. God have mercy on us all.

Day 12: Movement Control Order

After return to my village on 25th March, I did not have network to continue updating my blog. Today, I try to post something if this can pass through.

The MOC for Malaysia has been extended for another 14 days starting from 1st April until 14th April. With this new instruction by the government, I will continue to stay at home until then.

I have mixed feelings when I decided to drive 10 hours to reach my village, but I am glad that i can make it. I pass through seven road blocks along the way and only questioned twice. I believed that my journey was bless and protected by my Lord. It was smooth trip and I arrived safely. Praise and glory be to God. 

May the good Lord continue to protect us and this outbreak will over soon. Have mercy on us all Lord. 

Day 7: Movement Control Order

It has been a week of MCO. However, the number of infected people is not decreasing but there is still new cases detected. Day two of a new week!

I am thinking to myself, how am i able to pass another 7 days of MCO with so much stress and bad news from all around me. Even though i lock myself at home but with this technologies, i receive new updates frequently, every hours there will be new cases reported. Our ministers will  make a press conferences at certain hours to keep us updated on the current status and measures taken to prevent the spreading of this infections.

I am fully understand that it is important for me to keep myself updated and aware of things happening outside there. However, the negativity remarks from netizens and condemning each others is not going to help us staying positive on fighting this outbreak. I need a break from all that negativity so i can keep giving words of encouragement to my sisters and friends that work as a frontliners. 

Frontliners, you are our soldiers at this time. I will continue to pray for all of you and may God intervention came in various ways and give you His grace to face your days. 

I make a decision to deactivate my Facebook account once again today. I deactivate my account on Ash Wednesday because i want to reduce my time on social media and replace it with readings and reflections this Lent. When the MCO announced, i am kind of out of place because i don't know what is happening around me and i was told masses will be closed, churches also closed for visitors. So, with these reasons, i decided to reactivate my account.

Bad habits returned. I figure out, i can not control myself from spending hours scrolling through the newsfeed and reading or watch videos. Overwhelming by the stories shared and of course comments section give me bad vibes and i can say i increase my anxiety these past few days just by keep scrolling my FB newsfeed a few hours a day. This did not give me any good. I have to stop.

I will continue with my personal prayers even though i will not be able to follow the live stream via Facebook page of our Archdiocese or other dioceses. I need to keep my feet on the ground and keep my faith firm on the promise of my Lord, Jesus Christ. 

Have mercy on us all, o Lord. 

Day 6: Movement Control Order

It's a new week! My heart broke, i am in tears whenever i received or read news updated on my Facebook, Telegram, Twitter and WhatsApp. But, life must goes on. Fighting!

Around 3.30pm today, I went to my friend's pharmacy, Willy Pharmacy at Tabuan Jaya shopping centre to pick up some supplies that i ordered from him. When i met him at the pharmacy, he look tired even though i only can see his eyes because we are using face masks. His staffs also doing their work and served us with smile behind the face masks. Hang on there my friend, this will pass.

Then, i continue to refill my tank at Shell Tabuan Tranquility before i went for a McDonald's drive thru. I return home, check my car's engine, enter my house and taking shower and wash my clothes. Cleanliness is priority at this time. Having my double cheese burger with iced coffee latte is never like before. I hope all the people i encounter today at the pharmacy, Shell station and McDonald restaurant will be protected and console by our God. May they still have joy in their heart.

God have mercy on us all.

Day 5: Movement Control Order

Staying home is the best choice for everyone which is not in need to go to the office during this outbreak crisis. Oh, it's Sunday!

We have a lot of live streaming mass services from different dioceses in Malaysia. So, i decide to 'attend' my Sunday mass from our own church, the Archdiocese of Kuching. The mass was celebrated by Msgr William Sabang and concelebrated by Fr Francis Dakun.

Even though we celebrate our mass from home, i know my God, my Living God is presence in the midst of us. The longing for the Eucharist is never fade but the desire become stronger. I am grateful to God that our churches still be able to make this mass live stream, thank you to the technologies.

I pray that we, all of us around the world will persevere in our prayers and keep our faith in God during this trials. May the good Lord have mercy on us and keep us under His protection.

Day 4: Movement Control Order

After four days stay at home, i have to go out today to buy some of essentials things from nearby shops. Before went out, i prepared my shopping lists and which shops i will go so, i will minimize my time outside of my house. I look at my watch and it is about 3.15pm and the weather is a bit cloudy but still a bit warm outside.

My first stop is Watson's at Jalan Song. When i drove there, i notice less cars on the road and at some area, it is only me on the road. At the store, i found out no sign put outside that mentioning about social distancing or how they would want to serve the customers. Okay, i went to the wrong store which have a very low actions on helping the government to flatten the curve. There were about five customers in the store and two staffs at the counter. I straight away, pick up all the things that i listed that available in the store, pay and went back to my car.

Second stop at Unaco's Supermarket, Stutong to buy groceries and other things to bring back home to my parents (if i am able to pass the road block next week). The same scenario and no precautions as advised by the Health Ministry. My assumptions is that the store is not ready or do not know how to take actions as advised by the authority. Their staff is not well prepared to faced this kind of situation. Wrong place again.

Third stop is Choice Daily, KPJ because some item i need i did not found at the previous supermarket. It is also the same situation like the previous supermarket.

My fourth stop is at Mita cake house, KPJ because i want to eat some bread and thank God, finally one shop that take more serious action to comply the authority order. They serve one customer at the time and no customer allowed to enter the premise. They serve customer at the front door and we just tell them which item we want, pay and they will pack it for us. They also put a notice outside the door about their operation during this pandemic and asks customer to not panic and stored bread at home more than we need. They even put a tape for us to practice social distancing. Salute to this cake house.

My fifth stop is Pasar Kampung near my house. This is the last one because i want to find food for my dog at home. The two previous supermarket didn't have it and unfortunately, this last one also didn't have it. This supermarket also just like the other two. I hope all staff that working at these four premises including the cake house will be safe.

This experienced is not nice at all. I pray this pandemic will over soon. God have mercy on us all.

Total death in Malaysia is already 8. May their souls rest in peace and please give strength to the affected families, o Lord.

Day 3: Movement Control Order (MCO)

I feel much better today even though the numbers of positive cases still adding up. I am not going outside since day 1 because my essentials need is still enough but planning to go out tomorrow. I need to buy a few things to bring back home. I received news from my parents's home that they are running out of a few things. Especially for my dad because he is bed ridden and we have to home care him.

I figure out that this MCO makes me more thoughtful of others need and asking if they need any help. This is the time of personal reflections on how i live my life so far. How i can be a better version of myself if i can get through this crisis?

I pray this time will pass and everyone's life will return to normal. God, have mercy on us all.

Day 2: Movement Control Order (MCO)

Staying at home and trying to be positive suddenly feel difficult. My mind keep thinking about my family members especially my parents now at our village. To make it worst when i received message from my sister saying that there is one 'Ustaz' from the nearby village is tested positive COVID19. This ustaz is one of the participant attending the itjimak at Sri Petaling, Kuala Lumpur end of last month. He didn't went for a screening immediately maybe similar to the other cases which they did not aware of it until the symptoms appear. If only the Brunei case is not gone public, they will still not sure if they are infected or not. Thanks God that the Brunei case came out early and Health Ministry can trace back some of this 14,000++ participants and get them screening immediately.

It is so easy to get news online but it is so overwhelming and too much to bear. With the numbers of the new cases still adding to the curve, i only can hope and pray this will end soon.

My thoughts and prayers goes to everyone out there especially to the front liners. This morning i heard a dumping truck in my housing compound. I would like to thank them for they also working as usual despite this outbreak crisis. May God have mercy on us all and this will pass. 

COVID19 and Movement Control Order

Today is Day 1 of Movement Control Order (MCO) in my country, Malaysia. My employer order us to work from home and if we need to go to the office we must register our self with the security guard on duty. Let me share how i react and how do i feel about all of this.

Today i feel so helpless and not sure what should i do. Maybe i am get used to wake up and get ready to work when it is weekdays. But, today is different because it feels like holiday but it is not. At the same time, i have been thinking about my parents at home. I wonder how are they doing now and how do they prepare themselves for this. To make it worst, i can not contact my sister whom stay and taking care of our parents. The telecommunications network is weak and limited in our village. I could't get in touch with her since Sunday.

I hope others will just stay at home and let us together combat this virus by contain our self at home and not contribute to spreading it.

Stay safe everyone and take precautions as advise by the Health Ministry. May God continue to protect us and bless us with good health and let's care for each other.